Abbot and Costello's Adventure
Abbot and Costello are two little owls who live in a small slot, in the dashboard, of our car. They are "watch owls," or so they say. Their job is to do something if something ever happens, although they are not clear on the exact details. And anyway, nothing ever happened until one day... they went on an adventure.
Chapter 1. Abbot and Costello go in a Taxi
It was dark. But they knew they were going.
They said goodbye to Doc, who sits on a pedestal at the door... reading.
"Good-bye Doc." "Good-bye Doc.""Shhhhh! I'm reading," said Doc. "You've made me loose my place, again!"Doc always said that."This is my bag.""No, that's your bag.""This is my bag."
They argued just to pass the time – all of the time. The taxi came.
It was dark in the taxi too. They looked out the window.
It started to rain.
"It's raining""Only on your side""Your side too""It's on both sides""No its raining on the roof"
The taxi kept going despite the rain.
In the taxi, it got lighter. They looked out the window.
"That light is red - we should stop.""No it's green - we should go."
The Taxi started moving.
"See, I told you it was green.""It was red."
The taxi driver was drinking cola.
"YOU CAN'T DRINK AND DRIVE.""YOU CAN'T DRINK AND DRIVE."
They repeated it over and over again until the taxi stopped.
"I thought he'd never stop driving.""Yes, he might have spilt it everywhere!"
They had arrived, unexpectedly, at... The Airport.
Chapter 2. Abbot and Costello at the Airport
The airport was a strange place with lots of confusing signs.
"We can't have matches; we'll have to go home.""We don't have any matches.""But matches are explosives.""No explosives are red.""Oh."
It was time to check the bags.
At airports everything has to get weighed.
"You're too heavy; we'll have to go home.""But, you're more than 2 centa-meepers heavier than me.""No, I'm only 3 milly-leepers less than you."
They couldn't agree which one was heavier.
"Quick, let's jump." They decided.
It was a close call.
At airports, if something is too heavy: Something could happen!
"Whew, that was close; what do we do now"?"We're on the run – We're crinamals now.""Birds aren't crinamals, they're animals.""But animals aren't birds... they don't have beaks.""Then how do they fly"?
They continued like this for some time until they noticed they were all alone. So they decided to explore.
There are lots of shops at airports.
"This looks like a good place to hide.""No one will find us here."
A little girl pointed and said "Mummy can I have them"?
"No dear, they're too expensive. Come on now" was the reply."Why would she want these things anyway – they really scratch.""Flees, I expect.""Really, I never thought"?"Yes, it's quite common, you know."
They had to move on.
They don't have any trees in airports.
"We can't hide here, there are no branches.""They have offices in Hong Kong.""But, there are no leaves.""They have leaflets.""But, it's not the same, I feel like a round peg in a square hole."
They soon found somewhere else to hide.
They really don't have any trees in airports.
"Is this really a tree?""Yes... they're in season this year.""What happens next year?""I guess they drop their... bits, or something like that, why?""Well I'm not waiting around to find out, come on."
Soon, they found out they were at the airport to get on a plane.
"So what was the taxi for, then?""Beats me."
Chapter 3. Abbot and Costello go on a plane
Before boarding a plane, always have a snack.
"I don’t like nabanna bread, <munch>.""Yes, it sticks up your beak, <munch>.""Ym hmm umm nmm , <munch>.""Nom, ym hmm umm nmm, <munch>."
They argued even while eating.
After a snack, always have a rest.
"There is a lot of waiting at Pairports.""Yes, and these very small rooms too.""Hey, I'll race you round and round?""No you'll make a mess""Alright, let's both do it."
The cleaner asked them to leave.
At the Airport, always keep all your things together.
"Where did you go?"I'm playing a game... I hid the Boring Pass.""Where did you put it?""I don't know... It's hide and seek.""What should I hide?""You can hide the Par Port"
It was a fun game.
Always review your flight safety procedures before take-off.
"It can't fly.""It can't even flap.""It's wearing roller skates.""It has no beak!!!""IT'S RIDICULOUS. IT'S RIDICULOUS. IT'S RIDICULOUS."
The gate attendant told them to be quiet.
On the plane you can relax and enjoy the in-flight catering.
"It says we get a choice of Chicken or Duck...""Oh, that's nice""No is says to eat them""OMG! There must be CANNIBALS on board!""TERRORISTS, MUDERERS, KILLERS, CRINAMALS.""SECURITY! Call the POLICE!""Call the FBI! Call the BOMB squad."
The Steward took them to the Purser, who read them a copy of the International Air Safety Act, 2010.
Do not tamper with the smoke detector in the lavatory.
"We have to be good and stay in these cups.""Hey, we can play Pop and Go""OK. Pop... Go...""Pop... Go..."
The Pilot apologised for the delay. He added that there would not be an emergency landing as previously advised.
Always wear your seatbelt during turbulence.
"This thing keeps shaking.""OMG, it's an earthquake!""We'll have to warn them all.""EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE!""RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.
The stewardess brought them back in a sick bag.
Chapter 4. Abbot and Costello have a stopover in Singapore
Always be well mannered at expensive restaurants
"We have to sit here quietly and be good."
"I hate green. It's scratchy..."
"Hey, want to hear a funny noise?"
"Hey, want to see me go aerobats?"
"OK, we can do both."
The waiter brought them back under a cloche.
Do not criticize the speciality of the house
"OMG it's totally disgusting.""I feel sick."We have to warn them.""EVERYONE GET OUT! THE FOOD IS OFF!""RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
The waiter brought the check.
Chapter 5. Abbot and Costello stay in a hotel
The hotel provides complimentary fruit and chocolates for your enjoyment.
"We're fruit.""I'm a nabanna.""Yuk. I'm a knapple.""Yuk.FRUIT FIGHT! FRUIT FIGHT! FRUIT FIGHT!"
Professional carpet cleaning, on the other hand, will be charged to your room.
The hotel provides coffee and tea making facilities
"What is a kettle for?""What is an ice-bucket for?""I don't know, but after all that chocolate I feel sick again.""I don't know, but after all that fruit I have to go again."
Always be sure to wash the kettle and ice-bucket thoroughly before use.
The mini-bar is stocked with snacks at hotel prices
"We're snacks.""I'm crunchy.""I'm chewy.""This one tastes like <munch> om nom momm.""This one tastes like <munch> num nom nomm."
Always put the mini-bar inside the refrigerator. As all used items will be charged to your room.
The hotel provides signature coffee cups for your enjoyment.
"We're Garlicks...""Externamate, Externamate. Beep beep.""Why can't I go beep beep?""You just did.""No that was you."
Always wash your cups before using them, and be careful as replacement cups will be charged to your room.
The hotel's room service cleans the rooms and changes the sheets daily.
"This is scratchy.""I don't like it.""Yes and now it's all wet.""Let's try the other side."
Always check you haven't left anything in your bed. You can recover any missing items at the hotel front desk, or in the refuse area at back.
The hotel provides one-pair of complementary slippers.
"This is much better.""They really cater for special guests don't they?""Yes, its five stars you know.""So they still have a long way to go, then?"
Always keep your complementary items in the drawer.
You should not leave valuable items in your room.
"We're ornaments.""This one smells.""It didn't before.""Well it does now."
Always remember to secure your personal property to prevent any breakage.
The hotel provides a desk and writing stationary for your convenience.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.""GO AGAIN. GO AGAIN. GO AGAIN. ""Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.""GO AGAIN. GO AGAIN. GO AGAIN."
Always keep stationary in a safe place, as replacement items will be charged to your room.
The hotel provides a safety deposit box for your valuable items.
"I feel safe in here.""Yes it's a safe.""That's what I said.""No it's a safe.""Make up your mind."
Always remember the combination of the safe as a locksmith's fee will be charged to your room.
The hotel provides a wardrobe for your clothes.
"It is a long way down from here.""How far?""Why not drop something down and count the seconds.""But, we don't have anything..."
Please note that laundry and dry-cleaning will be charged to your room.
The hotel provides a vanity mirror for shaving or make-up.
"You've put on weight.""It must have been all those chocolates and snacks.""You've put on weight too.""It must have been all those room service meals."
The vanity mirror is not a toy. A replacement fee will be charged to your room... so will room service.
The hotel provides a settee for guests.
"I'm black, you're white.""No you're black, I'm white.""No I'm black, you're white.""We can't both be black.""OK. I'm black, you're white.""Good. I'm black, you're white."
Reupholstering fees will, of course, be charged to your room.
Chapter 6. Abbot and Costello arrive home
The mailman dropped them at the door some weeks later.
"There were a lot of letters in that sack.""Some were quite funny.""Some were quite rude.""Yes, and didn't it smell in there.""Well, not to begin with."
They said hello to Doc.
"Hello Doc." "Hello Doc.""Shhhhh! I'm reading," said Doc. "You've made me loose my place, again!"Doc always said that.
They pecked off their stamps.
Then they squeezed into their slot in the dashboard of the car.
"Abbot goes on this side.""No, Costello goes on that side.""But I'm Abbot.""No, your Costello, I'm Abbot."
It was good to be home...until:
"GO AGAIN. GO AGAIN. GO AGAIN."